wanting it
Zoo and I get a lot of this from people in reference to our daughter, who’s special needs and the most awesome kid ever: I don’t know how you guys do it / handle it…I could never do what you do – I could never handle it, which is why God gave her to you.
If you’re anything like me, you’re already kind of rolling your eyes and thinking, are you kidding me? First of all, everyone has their own deal, their own obstacles, their own pressures. Second, I don’t think in terms of handling it when it comes to my kid, because she’s my kid. She’s happy. She’s funny. We adore her. We’ll do anything she needs, end of story. Which is the way is should be when it comes to parenting a child.
Is it hard sometimes? Sure. I’m a full writer and I’m home with my daughter full-time - she’s on home therapies, which means upwards of five people in and out of the house all day (which is not, contrary to popular belief, a break for me in any sense of the word, even though her therapists are wonderful) She’s pretty much totally dependant on me (while still managing to get into everything and anything) – she goes for major operations a few times a year, out of state, and Zoo travels quite a bit for his job.
I also have chronic migraine, which means I’m in pain for more or less 15 days out of every month. And still, I write. At this moment in time, I have a million deadlines but I wrote like this before I had a million deadlines. I do it because I can, because I love it, because I can’t stop. I do it because it’s fun and it’s hard and it’s my passion and my escape and my joy. It’s the dream career for me.
And I’ve been asked by a lot of people over the years how I’ve accomplished what I have, writing-wise, with everything else going on in my life. How I have the time.
The answer is really simple – I want it.
For me, it (aka writing as a career) was never an, if I get published. It was a when. It has to be that way if you want it – you have to think as if there’s no other choice, that it’s all just a matter of timing as to when it will happen.
But the simple truth is, I do write every day – I write longhand, on the computer, inside my head while I’m on the treadmill, if I’m at the hospital with my daughter or on the plane and while I’m on vacation – I love it and I can’t not write, and I think if you can’t not write, then you’re going to get yourself published if that’s your goal.
So no, I don’t have the time – I make the time. That’s the key. I made the time for the years that I wasn’t published and I treated the writing as a career because it was. I might not have – and still don’t – write in order or write the same number of pages every day and yeah, some days I write pages and pages of notes or scenes that I don’t end up using by the point is, the pen is moving on the paper. I’m in the mode. I’m moving forward.
Do you want it? Then turn off the TV if it distracts you, get one less hour of sleep, learn to write faster or write smarter. Learn to write anywhere and everywhere, in dead quiet or complete chaos. Learn to write longhand if that’s easier than lugging a computer. Learn to tell people who call or stop by during your writing time that you can’t talk / visit because you’re working.
Stop worrying about if what you’ve got is good enough or in a genre that’s selling and stop – please STOP reading the craft books if you haven’t yet written a complete book yet. I cannot stress this enough – if you’re reading a book on craft and you haven’t yet written a book that you can plug your own experiences into, you’re not going to understand that craft book on the level you need to. Just write the book – the whole book – write it in order, out of order, in any genre or POV you need to but get it down. Don’t get so caught up in the things you think you need to do for pre-writing that you don’t get the actual writing done. Save the energy you expend doing index cards and things of that sort for the writing. Trust me, the craft books will make so much more sense after the writing is accomplished.
Maybe you’re better only giving yourself a couple of hours in a row to crank out the pages or maybe you’re a grazer, like me, who writes bits and pieces all day and pulls it together at some point during the week to see what it’s all worked out to.
Don’t compare your output to anyone else’s – only compete with yourself because that’s what has to happen once you do get published. No one but you should be in your view. You will only slow yourself down if you worry about everyone else. If you want it, once you finally tell yourself, I want it, and nothing’s going to stop me, well, that’s something no one can take away from you.
If you are truly blessed with the writing gift, you should be sharing it with people in the form of your stories. I was lucky enough to have stories by writers like Suzanne Brockmann and Tami Hoag and Cherry Adair, stories I read over and over when I was with my daughter during her earliest days in the hospital. And if you keep writing, one day, you’ll get an email from someone who tells you that your book let them escape from their hectic lives for just a few hours and how much that meant to them – and that’s what it’s all about.
I see so many of the writers I started out with who are now published – I know what they went through to get there, the sacrifices they made. I know it’s not easy – trust me – I KNOW!!! But I also know you can do it if you want it badly enough – so take the small step, sign up for the challenge, start writing and don’t look back.
Steph T.
July 7th, 2007 at 8:14 pm
Great post Steph, very motivating. You are one helluva strong woman and your words will be on my mind over the next 70 days.
July 7th, 2007 at 9:22 pm
Great post! It’s always nice to be reminded that everyone has their own stuff to work through and put aside for a little while each day to get their writing done. Sometimes stuff in life piles up so much it’s easy to forget.
Thanks for stopping by my blog, btw.
July 7th, 2007 at 9:27 pm
Steph, you’re awesome!
I’m not doing the 70 days thing b/c it coincides with the beginning of school — I’m driven but not crazy! But I’m cheering y’all on and plugging away on the next book.
July 7th, 2007 at 9:49 pm
I am in awe of you, Steph.
I love my children no matter what and do whatever was needed to ensure they are happy and healthy, part of the reason why the last two months were not productive on the writing front. We do what we have to do. And, 
anyone that would question my doing so.
Thanks for stopping by my blog, Steph.
July 7th, 2007 at 10:09 pm
Okay, second thoughts and obviously I’m insane . . . but I signed up.
It’s only 3 pages a day for 70 days to get my 85K.
I have lost my ever-loving mind.
July 8th, 2007 at 8:20 am
What a wonderful, inspiring post! You’re an extraordinary woman.
I’m in the Seventy Day Sweat Challenge too.
Love
WendyPortia
July 8th, 2007 at 9:48 am
Great post babe! I think we ALL have our burdens to bear whether it’s a special needs child, or a child with mental health issues or being a working single parent or a single person with health issues….every one of us out here has SOMETHING we have to carry around and deal with.
July 8th, 2007 at 1:33 pm
July 8th, 2007 at 1:46 pm
Thanks, Ava!!! I think anyone who writes striving for publication is strong as hell :) I’ll pop by your blog more regularly once I get back from RWA next week!
July 8th, 2007 at 1:47 pm
Hey Katherine -
Writing can be so cathartic…and sometimes I think we’re so busy we forget to do stuff that makes us happy. What’s that old saying, if mom’s not happy, no one’s happy?
I think it applies whether you’re a mom or not!
July 8th, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Linda - did you really think I’d let you use the school excuse?
July 8th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
Hey WendyPortia!!!
I’m going to ditto the strong woman thing right back to you - and the 70 day challenge will be fun!
July 8th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
Hey Cece!
Yeah, I just get so worried when I see people putting stuff off because they don’t have time because *fillinblank*…you want it, you do it.
Which may explain why I can’t ever seem to diet…I guess I don’t want to be thin badly enough…
July 8th, 2007 at 1:51 pm
That’s exactly it, Lynn - and like I said to Katherine, we have to keep ourselves happy and healthy in order to be able to help our kids. They need to see that we fight to reach our goals too…
July 8th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
LOL, Jessica - no pity parties involved! Everyone has their own stuff to do, and frankly I’m in awe of people who work full time outside the house and come hom and write. Add taking care of kids for some on top of it too!
The thing is, I think too many people let their dream slip by too easily. I’m so excited to be living mine, that I don’t want to let someone use anymore excuses not to reach their goals.
Oh, and Margaret and I bartered for the WIP meters…she usually gives them to people on Forward Motion. But you could always try to contact her and barter for them: she’s at:
http://marfisk.blogspot.com/
Or, a lot of people use these - and they’re free:
http://www.zokutou.co.uk/wordmeter/
July 8th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
Jessica
July 8th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
What an excellent post! Though I still think you’re Superwoman. :)
July 8th, 2007 at 4:04 pm
I’ve signed up for the challenge so came over to read your post… Wow! This is seriously inspiring stuff. Just… wow. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences, and taking the time to encourage those of us who are on the same path, though perhaps a little further behind. ;)
The part about “pre-writing” and “index cards” resonated A LOT! I spend way too long getting caught up with that stuff, rather than doing the actual writing… Thanks for reminder.
July 8th, 2007 at 7:59 pm
Anytime, Jessica! Building the blog sidebar is fun :)
No way, Tori, not me…I’m too whiny to be superwoman *snickers* How are your pages coming along?
July 8th, 2007 at 8:00 pm
Yay Karen!!! Congrats on signing up! And thanks for your kind words…I had a lot of writers before me whose words of encouragement dragged me through the tough times, so I’m really happy to be able to give back…
July 9th, 2007 at 8:21 am
I’ve just joined the Seventy Days of Sweat challenge. Your post Steph is truly inspiring. It’s true: we all have issues to deal with, be it health, family, whatever chaotic issues there are out there and if we truly want to write and have the passion for it, we should just do it! :bravo:.
July 9th, 2007 at 10:50 am
Thanks Stephanie for the encouragement. I signed up yesterday, however I was so able to relate to the chronic migraines, which often keeps me from writing as much as I want.
Great article.
July 9th, 2007 at 11:32 am
Hi Sophisticated Writer!!! I’m glad you joined the challenge - one of the best parts of this job is getting to meet people who get the writing / passion thing :)
July 9th, 2007 at 11:34 am
Hey Fairie -
The migraine thing is so terrible - I’m so sorry to hear that you’re suffering with them as well…it’s frustrating when you want to do the writing but the pain interferes. But I’m glad you signed up…it seems like a great mix of encouraging writers!
July 9th, 2007 at 1:08 pm
Thank you. Your insight is very valuable to me and I appreciate your time. I’m thrilled I found your blog and the challenge through Diana P’s blog. Time to get started! Take care.
July 9th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
What a fantastic post, Steph!! I’m going to bookmark it so I can come back and read it periodically.
July 9th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
Er, I only wrote a page & a half yesterday.
July 9th, 2007 at 9:08 pm
Great post and very motivating.
It really spoke to me, given my current situation, I know I want it and I can do it. My journey may just take a bit longer, but I will get there.
Thanks so much for this post.
July 9th, 2007 at 9:58 pm
***What a wonderful, inspiring post! You’re an extraordinary woman. I’m in the Seventy Day Sweat Challenge too. Love WendyPortia***
I am never having another pity party again! Thanks for such a great post!
July 9th, 2007 at 10:59 pm
[…] it done Stephanie Tyler, Alison Kent, and Diana Peterfreund have very inspiring blog posts up. If you’re looking for […]
July 9th, 2007 at 11:09 pm
Chasing The Moon - I’m glad to be of help! Like I said, I got a lot of help along the way, so it’s cool to be able to give back!
July 9th, 2007 at 11:10 pm
Thanks, Jaq!!! How are your revisions coming along?!?! I’m still crossing everything for you on that…
I have a post of PBWs she wrote years ago that I read at least once a week…
July 9th, 2007 at 11:11 pm
But you wrote, Tori!!! That’s all that counts…
Saint promises to come visit you next week and help you along. ;-)
July 9th, 2007 at 11:13 pm
Hi Angeleque!
It sounds like you’re well on your way to getting there :) It doesn’t matter how long it takes as long as you know you’ll get there…I’ll stop by and check on how things are going for you when I get back from RWA!
July 9th, 2007 at 11:14 pm
LOL, Maude - pity parties are okay are okay every once in a while - necessary too…just not for too long.
I recommend plenty of chocolate…well, I recommend that all the time, actually…
July 10th, 2007 at 9:12 am
[…] I want to be a writer and have that as my career. Stephanie Tyler has written an excellent post on wanting the writing bad enough that you’re willing to make the sacrifices necessary to get it done. So no, I don’t have […]
July 10th, 2007 at 3:43 pm
[…] more inspiration: Check out these articles - Wanting It by Stephanie Tyler or Lifetus Interruptus - No Matter What Just Keep Writing by Me aka Jayna Gardner (my first pen […]
July 15th, 2007 at 5:18 pm
Steph,
Diana P linked to this post and I’m so glad she did. It was just what I needed…my ‘how to write’ craft collection is huge now, yet I still have to finish a book…off to write, and will sign up for that challenge too. You are an inspiration.
Pam
July 16th, 2007 at 9:04 am
This is a fantastic post! I’m just back from Dallas. Although I’m not signed up on a challenge, I’m really motivated to write and have set a minimum of hours a day.
July 16th, 2007 at 9:59 am
[…] here’s a fabulous blog on wanting it from Stephanie […]
July 16th, 2007 at 11:55 pm
[…] 14th, 2007 by seanachi Over on her blog the other day, Stephanie Tyler makes the following […]
July 18th, 2007 at 5:35 pm
Hey Pam!!! Great to hear from you :) Yes, put down the craft books and back away slowly…
Thanks, Edie! And it was wonderful seeing you in Dallas!