the alpha & the undead
“Whatever you do, don’t open the door of the guest bedroom until the sun goes down.”
I turn to find Jake sprawled lazily in the recliner, remote control in hand, ordering PayPerView movies. I heard him come in sometime after four in the morning and it sounded like he wasn’t alone, but I was too tired to investigate. Now, I wish I had. “What have you done this time?”
“I liberated a few people last night. And they’re really sensitive to light.” He says this as though it’s the most normal thing in the world. And the sight of him and his SEAL-gear is becoming normal around here too. The three year old is wearing a camouflage t-shirt and I’ve begun referring to trips to the grocery store as missions, so I know the madness has spread far and wide.
“What do you mean, sensitive to light?” I snatch the remote out of his hand and he looks mortally wounded for a second, but rebounds quickly. He’s not in uniform and there’s a surfboard propped next to him, and now I know why one of my heroine’s has suddenly disappeared. Damn, I need to find this guy his own woman and fast.
“They’re Darkyn something or other…” he says.
“Darkyn? As in, vampire-like Darkyn?” Oh crap. He’s really done it this time.
He shrugs. “I guess. Don’t worry, they’re cool.”
“You need to get them back or their author’s going to kick your ass.”
“I’m hoping their author kicks your ass in gear,” he said. “Rumor has it she’s ex-military.”
“What are you talking about?”
“She writes a lot. You’ve been doing a whole lot of not writing lately. I’m thinking, if I hold her characters hostage for a while, eventually she’ll cave to my demands.”
“And those would be…”
“She’s going to motivate you. Make you get up early to write. She’s going to get you into a routine.”
“No one can motivate me but me. And it’s a nice try, but their author doesn’t hang around here. PBW’s too busy to bloghop around like that. She’s…”
“Writing?” Jake suggests in his most helpful tone of voice which is so not helpful at all. He smiles despite the fact I’ve just given him my best, ‘cover your balls’ look.
I hate it when he’s right.
I make a mental note to get his CO involved in this mess, and I remember that I already sent Saint to get Nick away from the poolhouse. I also remember Saint telling me sometime last year that there wasn’t a woman born yet who could handle Jake, but I figured he was just pissed at the time because Jake had tried to take over his book. Now, I’m beginning to realize he might be right.
“How did you get past PBW anyway?”
He manages to look insulted. “Do you think you’re dealing an amateur? I can get past anyone. It’s called E&E, honey. Evade & Escape.” He pauses. “Besides, she was typing like a madwoman. I tried to talk to her but she started mumbling things like, ‘you know how to do your own laundry’ and ‘I don’t see any blood so why are you bothering me now?’ and ‘I need more green tea.’ So I had to alter my plan and do things a little differently.”
“By liberating an entire coven?”
“Look, PBW wants them to have a life. And those vampires? Man, they really know how to party. The Dancehall’s never going to be the same.”
“You’re not going to get what you want this time,” I tell him. “And Cece’s going to hurt you. ”
“I’m shaking,” he says. “No really, I am. And you can tell Cece I’ve got plans for her.” He gets up and grabs the surfboard that’s propped up next to him. Then he saunters off, bypassing the motorcycle he’s parked in the middle of my living room and calling over his shoulder, “by the way, Odil’s chick is still here and she’s eating all the ice cream. Says her author’s talking crazy talk and she’s not going back.”
“And what did you tell her?”
“That I sympathize.”
I groan and start counting the hours until sundown.
Steph T.
June 9th, 2005 at 1:14 pm
Jake….jake I don’t know what your last name is but if you ever and I mean EVER bring those Vampires in my dancehall again–half my waitresses have been BITTEN DAMNIT!
Don’t even try to sweet talk me. I’m a married lady and if I can handle a passell of ex-roughstock riders, I KNOW I can handle one piddly seal.
And one last thing, Lena sends her regards and apologizes for her hubby coming home so unexpected like.
June 9th, 2005 at 1:28 pm
Aw, Susie, I love it when a woman gets all tough on me lilke that. I’ll stop by later on tonight for a dance…
June 9th, 2005 at 1:38 pm
LMAO!!
Too funny you guys!!
June 9th, 2005 at 1:48 pm
I catch you dancing with my wife and you’ll find yourself doing your SEAL act at the zoo.
June 9th, 2005 at 1:55 pm
John - I can’t help it if women fall for me. Maybe you could talk to my author about finding me someone and I’d leave your wife alone..
Now Kellie - she looks pretty damned cute…
June 9th, 2005 at 2:21 pm
Oh Jake, I’m too easy, no conquest there at all! LOL I am a goner for a hot SEAL man with the name “Jake”!
June 9th, 2005 at 2:24 pm
Kellie honey, I’ll be right over…
June 9th, 2005 at 2:25 pm
June 9th, 2005 at 3:15 pm
Oh! Oh! Me, me!!! I’ll take Jake off your hands! (AND I’m single…..)
June 9th, 2005 at 3:41 pm
June 9th, 2005 at 3:56 pm
“Who’s Tori?”
Jake’s CO is a big guy, straight out of New Orleans with the drawl to prove it and killer blue eyes. He’s nicknamed Saint, but really, the nickname doesn’t fit worth a damn.
Did I mention he’s big?
I look up at him. “Um, she’s a blog buddy…”
“So why is Jake getting all this attention?”
“Besides the fact that he demands it?”
“I’m going to Tori’s,” Saint announces.
“But you were supposed to help me get Jake back on track. Back to work. Secret missions, E&E…”
“See ya, bebe. I’ve just found my new mission.”
June 9th, 2005 at 4:14 pm
Should I be worried by this???
June 9th, 2005 at 4:30 pm
Well if Jake’s going to Tori’s then he’s leaving my wife be
June 9th, 2005 at 4:34 pm
I’m not sure who’s where at this point…but I doubt Jake will leave anyone alone for very long. Sorry, John, but I’d keep an eye on your wife…
Um, Tori - I think the only thing you need to worry about is that you end up with 2 SEALs at your place.:wink:
June 9th, 2005 at 4:57 pm
Oh, well, in that case…. I probably won’t get much writing done tonight, then.
June 9th, 2005 at 6:32 pm
Steph, you crack me up.
Thanks for the great entertainment!!
June 9th, 2005 at 9:09 pm
ROFLMAO!
Just for the record, I’m locking the poolhouse.
And hiding my Muse.
Steph, we gotta find him someone. I think Cait could handle him . . . but she’s pretty much taken. She has a cousin, though.
June 10th, 2005 at 1:42 am
Oh, crap. I think I’m in love.
*g*
June 10th, 2005 at 2:17 am
ROFL. Keep it coming!
June 10th, 2005 at 10:05 am
I’ve got a rather demandning female vamp that Jake is welcome to take off of my hands while I work on her ex’s story.
If he hurts her though, he’s going to have two seriously mad werewolves coming after him, though.
June 10th, 2005 at 2:02 pm
Hope Tori made out okay last night (what a Freudian slip that was - OMG - LMAO!)
Am glad I could give Michelle some entertainment…
Linda - you do know they all scoff at locks, right? And you might have to hand over Cait’s cousin. Soon.
LOL Lynn!
Amy - I might keep them coming right over to visit you - they’re driving me crazy and you probably need a break from your revisions…
Emily - Jake might take you up on that offer. He says he’s not scared of werewolves though…
June 10th, 2005 at 2:22 pm
LOL! Sounds like a Mexican standoff to me. Oh, an aside, please let me know what you think of Ann Stuart’s Black Ice. I’ve been thinking about grabbing it ever since I found out one of my hero’s may turn out to be an ex-arms dealer. Thanks.
June 10th, 2005 at 3:31 pm
LOL, Steph! Freudian slip indeed!
And, yes, the guys were very nicely distracting. 
June 10th, 2005 at 6:40 pm
Jake, you never come visit me anymore. . .
June 13th, 2005 at 5:27 pm
LMAO! I am loving this Steph, you are great!!
June 14th, 2005 at 10:15 am
Jordan - it is a Mexican stand-off! Well said.
Tori - I’m glad you enjoyed your time with the SEALs.
Teresa - Jake said to tell you that he will absolutely come see you again. Soon. All I can say is, good luck to you.
Thanks Kellie! Making people laugh is probably the most fun part of having a blog. And writing in general, I think!!